Tackling the tough topics with your kids

Sixteen years ago this month, we in New York's Capital Region and the rest of the world watched in horror as terrorists attacked the United States. Unfortunately, terrorist attacks continue around the world today, and our children are exposed to those images, even as much as we try to shield them.
 
At some point, we all need to talk to our children about terrorism – even from our safe homes in Troy or Albany or Clifton Park. Here are some tips on how to discuss the topic of terrorism, or other uncomfortable topics in the news, with your children, inspired by the National September 11 Memorial & Museum.
  

• Listen. If your child wants to talk, listen. Hear what she's concerned about, watch her body language, show her you understand and facilitate the conversation. You might start with questions such as “What would you like to know about terrorism?” to get the discussion started. If she doesn't want to talk, don't make her. Let her know you'll be ready to talk when she is.
• Be prepared. Be ready for your child to ask questions about death and to answer in an age-appropriate and honest manner. You are the best one to know what kind of message your child can handle.
• Reassure your child that he's safe. Stay calm and let him know everything that the community and first responders do to keep their friends and loved ones out of harm's way.
• Respond with the facts. Our school-age children pick up a lot of information from overhearing family conversations, talking to friends and even from listening to the radio in the car with you. Kids don't get the full picture when they hear news that way, and that can lead to fears. Answer their questions with the facts. And if you don't know, and your children are old enough, you and your kids can do the research together to find out what they want to know.
• Monitor television and internet consumption if there is a terrorist attack. Television and online news, as well as social media, will carry detailed reports of the the attacks that might not be suitable for children. Be a watchdog and know what your children are viewing.
• Let your kids know that good happens in the aftermath of an attack. There are dozens – hundreds – of stories of acts of compassion and heroism that occur after an act of terrorism. Share with them how the good comes out, such as the stories of the people of Nova Scotia who took in travelers whose planes were forced to land in their community on 9/11. Work with your child to find a way to help, such as opening a lemonade stand to make money for people affected by terrorism. Let them know they can make a difference.

 
For more information, visit the memorial's website. And if your children have any concerns you'd like to discuss with us, see your TSL Adventures center director.