Fair is Not Always Equal

​At one of my first job interviews for a teaching position, the interviewer asked me to answer the question, “Is fair always equal?” As a full-fledged novice, I had never heard of this expression before, so I stewed for a moment before answering, the whole time steeped in thought, understanding that my response could make or break a job offer.

This was not a question like “What is your philosophy of education?” or “what is your approach to teaching reading?” This was a more humanistic question with only one clear way to respond, though it sounded like a question that could generate an opinionated response. That was the trick. Live and learn on that day.
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At the time I responded, “yes,” with much confidence. “Fair is always equal.” I can’t remember how I justified this response, but I was confident when doing so. After all, you can’t do for one child and not the other. Right? Wrong. 

​Needless to say, I didn’t land the job. It probably wasn’t because of my answer to that important question, but it might have been. That I remembered this question over all these years and yet forgot most every other detail of the interview, highlights its importance.

When my own kids were growing up, they constantly felt like if we, as parents, did for one, we had to do for the other of lesser or greater value. If my son needed a new bed, my daughter would ask “Well, what do I get?” The song continued.

The fact is, fair cannot always be equal because children vary in their many needs at any given moment at any given time, and to treat every child equally (i.e., the same) would mean ignoring their individual set of needs. For instance, if a particular child sits in a classroom meeting, he may need a squishy toy to manipulate to keep him focused, even though in general, squishy toys may not be allowed for the rest of the class during meeting times. Fair is not always equal.

In another instance a child who injures himself, may get a freeze pop as a form of TLC, while the rest of the group does not. Fair is not always equal. Maybe Suzie needs someone to read her test to her because she doesn’t yet have the reading skills, while everyone else needs to read the test on their own. Perhaps mom buys her daughter a gift for passing a difficult test but doesn’t get her other children anything. Fair is not always equal.

The list goes on and on and parents, teachers, and providers should never think that one child should be treated the same way as another, nor should they think that if they do something for one, they must do the same for another. Why? Because fair is not always equal.

The beauty of the expression is that it can be used and taught to children from the very earliest of ages. When a child says, “Why does he get to do that, and I can’t?” All the adult in charge needs to say is “Because fair is not always equal.” As children are educated on what the expression means, they can better understand that just because they aren’t being treated the exact same way as their caretakers may treat someone else, doesn’t mean they are being treated unfairly.
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Who knows, maybe if they learn this lesson early enough, when they go on their first job interview and are asked the question, “Is fair always equal?” they will have an informed response to give, and they will get the job!