'But everyone has one!' When to say yes to a cellphone

Everyone has one. You know that, parents, don't you?

When it comes to children and cellphones, not everyone has one, but a shockingly high number of kids do. Consider these facts from the website GrowingWireless.com.

• On average, children are 12.1 years old when they receive their first mobile device. 
• 56 percent of children age 8 to 12 have a cellphone. 
• 60 percent of families who have provided a cellphone to their child did so between the ages of 10 and 11. Twenty percent provided their 8- to 9 year olds with a cellphone. 
• Among children 8 years of age and younger, 21 percent use smartphones. 
• 38 percent of children under age 2 have used a mobile device to view media. 
• Dads are more likely to give kids smartphones in elementary school while moms are more likely to give kids smartphones in middle school. 

So it's likely your child has asked for a cellphone -- whether it’s for Christmas, a birthday or just because -- and as you ponder the response, you should consider the following thoughts from a cnn.com article that offers tips from Dana Graber, co-founder of CyberWise.org, and Lori Cunningham, founder of the blog The Well Connected Mom.

1. Are your kids ready for a smartphone? First, are they responsible enough to take care of one? Secondly, can they handle a device that automatically connects them to the world? Graber said parents should consider that kids don't fully understand the ramifications of everything they post.
2. If you decide your child is ready for a phone, the next step, experts say, would be to give them some "cyber civics" training, teaching them about things such as bullying, the permanence of what they post, and stranger danger online.
3. Cunningham and Graber believe strongly in creating a family contract surrounding the use of the cellphone. A contract can include how the phone ultimately belongs to the parents, how the parent will have access to all passwords related to the phone and its apps, the hours the phone can be on, how it will be charged overnight in a centralized area that isn’t in the child's bedroom, and what happens if the family's phone rules are not followed.
4. You should embrace parental-control apps, which help monitor the technology you’re giving your kids. Multiple apps are available for parents. Some of those apps allow parents to track everything kids are doing on their phones, and some give parental alerts if certain high-risk words are used in texts or social media.
5. Don't punish your child for breaking the rules by taking his or her phone away. This could make the kids much less likely to open up about a problem they are encountering online. Instead, parents should discuss the issue with their children before determining a solution to the issue. "There are just too many things that can go wrong, and we need to have their backs in that world," Graber said.